Die-it

9 days ago i began a diet.the daniel fast.you can basically only eat plant-based foods and can only drink water.i knew it would be challenging.i had no idea that my body would writhe in pain due to some kind of detox.however, once i made it through a few days of feeling miserable, i began to feel so much better.i have had stomach/intestinal issues for most of my life.on this diet, i have had no issues.therefore, the problem was the food.the beverages.all of the unhealthy addictions and decisions.i watched forks over knives earlier this year and cried and was so touched.seeing people be healed of diseases because of changing their diets.that hit me hard.there is so much in the Bible that talks about healthy eating because our bodies are temples.think about that.a temple.a holy place, where God dwells.and i have spent years trashing that temple.why?because it's easy.it feels good.i might have some stomach aches, but never feel any intense, automatic punishment.i have not done a word study on the word "diet," but just looking at it makes me think a clever person gave it such a name.to have discipline over what goes into your body requires one to die to his or her self.dieting can reflect a spiritual deficit or it can represent strength (in my opinion).putting junk into the body is a form of self-harm, if you really think about it.we judge people for smoking and drinking, then turn and eat our bowls of ice cream night after night.while this fast has been frustrating due to its strictness and blatant inconvenience, i am so glad i decided to do it.i learned that with Christ, i can have power over food and temptation.i do not need the amounts of sugar or caffeine i have continuously consumed.i thought it made me feel better.but i have felt so good about myself because what i eat doesn't make me feel sick or guilty.it makes me feel good.okay, i'm done.just think about it, friends.i am preaching to myself here.let us stop hurting ourselves and practice discipline so we can be healthy and happy.this will allow us to please God and to be used by Him in new ways. :)

You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God Himself is present in you?...God's temple is scared-and you, remember, are the temple. -1 Corinthians 3:16-17
So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. -1 Corinthians 10:31
No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I will not be disqualified for the prize. -1 Corinthians 9:27

<3_sarah_noelle

Caterpillar

I have begun my time as an intern.i have experienced so many emotions.but i feel as though i am finally getting into the swing of things.the greatest thing of all, though, is that i finally feel this peace and joy that i know i am doing the right thing.i am in the right place.that confirmation is so great.so great, that it overwhelms and takes away the fear, the nervousness, the doubts.all of the negativity is muffled because i know that God has me here.doing this.for a reason.how many times do i need to be reminded of his care, his provision?i know that i have had great experiences and have been complimented and trusted because of Him.this is what i am called to do.right now, i am working on developing my skills, soaking in so many lessons.i am that baby caterpillar...yes, probably a very hungry one at that.one day, i will transform.i will reveal my wings in a place where God has picked out just for me.i look back at my life and see His hand placing me, moving me.and i am so blessed.i want to reflect on my experiences because i am seriously loving life, and am reminded daily that i can and will love working in this field.

Trust?

i had myself fooled.thought i had trust in God because i could say the right things and tell people i had it.but then i couldn't sleep.couldn't rest.just kept thinking.it was worry.anxiety.fear.uncertainty.that is not trust.turns out, we still have our apartment.always have food.love.when things are nothing like we imagined or what we thought we deserved, we abandon what is most important.without trust we have no hope.without hope we have no drive.without a vision, people parish.it is foundational.yet i claim i have that foundation, but it crumbles at a loss.at a tweak.God does not have to prove Himself.yet He does.again and again. 
Oh, for grace to trust Him more.then i wouldn't be like everyone else.worried about the economy.the future.the present.the nothing.bigger picture...more like just zooming out on life, and realizing that every season is but a pixel, and every "problem" may be a minor imperfection that actually increases the beauty of it all.we lose sight of it all when we think we are entitled to all the commodities we demand.His Word promises us so much.but what are we doing?complaining, wasting words, wasting thoughts, wasting time on worrying.on trying to be our own god, trying to create our own ideals,which really are not so ideal.
Forgive me, Father....oh, for grace.

Psalm 28:7- The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. 

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

the holidays have come and gone.as i suspected, people got engaged.were married.had babies.found out about new babies.after checking my facebook and seeing all the news, i realized that this was the new phase in my life.a time of growing up, and of expansion.after doing some more thinking, i realized that i have been a wife for 2 years.crazy.wife.i still cannot believe that has become one of my roles.people i meet have a hard time believing it.[[you're so young!]]being married for such a short amount of time definitely does not make me an expert.i know that every day should be dedicated to learning more, and to becoming a better person.however, i do think i have definitely gained insight into the matter, and i just feel like writing about it.
after my days of being anti-marriage, i remember dating and being engaged and thinking that marriage would be the great fix-it tool.i thought that by getting married, any issues we had would disappear because we were entering into a greater bond, something that would force us think and act as one.well, i was wrong.after becoming a wife, things became increasingly complicated.there were unidentified expectations.there were disappointments.there were arguments that seemed like they were over nothing, but truly did have deeper meaning.the first year was definitely challenging.
i am happily married.please don't get me wrong about that.i have no regrets.i truly cannot imagine what life would be like without being married to caleb.i just get nervous for people.caleb has been the most selfless person i have ever met.and my love for him makes me want to put him before myself.we don't have huge arguments, we don't badmouth each other or belittle each other.and if that were the case, we would be hurting ourselves in the process.i do feel like we have become one.it has taken some time, and we have much learning to do, but when he hurts i hurt.when he is happy, i am overjoyed.there is an element of closeness that God blesses us with after we commit our lives to each other, and to Him.but it is work, just like any commitment.there should be a foundation of trust and of friendship.i have always trusted caleb because he never gave up on me, or on us.he has fought for us since day one, and has been responsible, and reliable.i never imagined having so much respect and adoration for a human being.i am so in love with him.that love grows and has new insights every day.i hope everyone can have something like this.something that takes work, but only because two people are working very hard to do what is best for the both of them.once we had a sort of sync, things became easier, and we had a better understanding of each other.it is unnatural for a person to be selfless.it does not come easy.but when you are so in love with a person, you really begin to put him (or her) before yourself.if your "love" does not do this, take a step back and consider your plans.marriage does not fix what is broken.it is so incredibly sacred and beautiful, and needs to be treated and respected as such.so please.don't rush it.don't force it.let God do His work in both of you, and seek Him first.

1 Corinthians 13

 ¹ If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
 ⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
 ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part, ¹⁰ but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. ¹¹ When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. ¹² For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
 ¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

-and this love does not make sense.it does not act like what we see on tv or in the news...

LuCk

Throughout my lifetime, people have told me that i should write a book.that i should retell all of the little stories.this sounds flattering.however, the stories are not stories of greatness or even of fun.they are tales of my misfortunes.my lack of luck.oddities.silliness.suckiness.haha.makes me feel like a real winner.but seriously, very weird things have happened to me or around me.people say i am unlucky.but i don't really agree.i actually very recently had an epiphany concerning all of these situations.i was told that they are adventures, worth keeping for future recollection (and probably for future laughs).i feel honored that things can happen to me because i know i can handle them.i can laugh at myself, with myself, by myself.keeps me entertained.and it doesn't take much.but anyway with that said lucky/unlucky yatta yatta.i know i am blessed.i don't wanna walk around saying fml omg i am so screwed.no.my life is funny.it's fun.it's made of a myriad of adventures. :) take that, crooked teeth and flat tires!

sarah_noelle

on guard

this world is not too great.i hear about the darkness.i see it.i feel it.i dream about it.having a spiritual connection to something Greater takes me away from it.but it seems nearly impossible to stay away.it is engulfing.i am a peninsula of feelings,thoughts, and curiosities, and the dark stuff is the water that surrounds me.this week has been very metaphoric for me.it was stormy.wet.frizzy.scary.damaging.i felt myself letting go of the grip i had on joy,peace,contentment.what happened?so quickly.i lost it.i was not on guard.i let my feelings.my selfish,rampaging feelings.they took over.there has been that little cloud trying to take all this that i found away.but i refuse to be robbed.i know this is not me.this is not from God.therefore, i will be on guard.i will work and fight and overcome all this garbage.i will put into my heart the goodness and the life that comes from God.i will not hide from the death around me.i will confront it and tell it that it cannot steal anything from me.i have far too much to do for that mess.

"Above all else, guard your heart, 

   for everything you do flows from it."

just a beautiful letdown...

i have identified with this song for quite some time now.i remember it really speaking to me in high school, whenever i felt so disconnected from everyone around me.when i wanted to run away to Africa, or at least get out of America.i was sick of not relating to the desires and hopes and obsessions around me.i felt so confused and alone.eventually, these negative feelings went away and i understood why things were the way they were.i was happy that i was not crazed.or that i was crazed.anyway.this is my anthem.my lifesong.

It was a beautiful letdown
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone
Unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful letdown
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain
And bitter doubts
I was trying so hard to fit in
Fit in, until I found out

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
I will carry a cross and a song
Where I don't belong
I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
When You found me here
Yeah, for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful letdown
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free

We're still chasing our tails
In the rising sun
In our dark water planet still spinning
In a direction no one wins
No one's won.

See, I don't belong here (I don't belong)
Well, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I will carry a cross
With a song where I don't belong
I don't belong
I don't belong here (I don't belong)
No, I don't belong here, I don't belong
I'm gonna set side
And set sail
For the kingdom come, kingdom come
Your kingdom come
Won't you let me down, yeah
Let my foolish pride forever let me down

Ah, Easy living, you're not much like the name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Would you please take me off your list
Easy living please c'mon and let me down

We are a beautiful letdown
Painfully uncool
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools
What a beautiful letdown
Are we salt in the wound
Hey, let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here (I don't belong)
It feels like I don't belong here, yeah
It goes like I don't belong here
I don't belong (I don't belong)
Won't you let me down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
You always let me down (I don't belong)
So glad that I'm let down (I don't belong)
C'mon and let me down (I don't belong)
'Cause I don't belong here
Won't you let me down!

ps- anything jon foreman touches also has my name written on it...it just might be invisible...

<3 sarah_noelle