Whoa.

It has been too long! A lot has happened, as is such when time passes. I am now with child. It has been a roller coaster of a year for me. My life has not gone as expected or planned and I have faced heartache like I never knew before. I feel different. I finally feel like I have become a woman. My own person. I feel as if God has been working on me and working with me. Life has tried to chip away at who I am and who I want to be but I keep pressing on. I have a deeper desire to be a better person now that I know I will be impacting a child in a huge way. I want to be a woman my daughter is proud of. I want to make decisions that she would respect one day when she can understand. I am learning all over again to take it day by day. Paul's advice has resonated with me for so many years. But now it is how I am able to thrive. I am learning to trust God for each day, and to be thankful for His daily provision. Every day is full of blessings, full of opportunities. We are the ones who miss them. I want to be intentional in seeing the goodness that each day brings. God is speaking. He is moving and working. Do we forget that? Ignore it? Become too busy to realize it?

Be intentional.

mommy, wow?

so here i am.man, i need to try to blog more often.makes me feel better.here i am as in supposedly grown up, big girl job and all.except i don't feel grown.what does that even mean?i still want to sit outside on a blanket and eat pb&j.i want to run around with jeans and a t-shirt and play with puppies or something.i do love my job, but sometimes i'm like hold up, they let me be this and do this?people have been more respectful and kind than i expected.the constant voice in the back of my head saying prove yourself does still ring loud, though.i have this fear of letting everyone down, by saying one thing or doing one thing that makes them all lose faith.but you know what is helpful?even liberating?the still quiet voice.it tells me that i get what i don't deserve because of a thing called grace.i fully believe i am here because of grace, and that grace will always be there for me.God made me the way i am and i trust Him.as long as i love and serve Him, he's got me.so maybe i'm technically supposed to be grown up, and maybe i kind of am, but i want to be a child at heart for as long as possible.i want to make an impact and care and love.i'm tired of hearing about thicker skin and jadedness.i will fight such things if it makes me apathetic.forever young.i want to be forever young...


And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:2-4 ESV)

Wanting something to love

http://www.gofundme.com/1khh1s


We would love to adopt or buy a Yorkie pup, but need help raising the money...figured it was worth a shot! ;)


<3_sarah_noelle

Earth

Man.growing up is tough.when you're little you don't understand how awful the world can be.you don't see it, or you're shielded from it.i remember being hurt and confused as a child, having been exposed to loss and pain at a young age.but parents made me feel better.there was enough good to keep the dark out.but then getting older made things hurt worse.it's weird how that can happen.maybe not for everyone.but for me.i started seeing things that made me mad.made me question.made me doubt.it hurt my foundation of faith.today i forced myself to send my brother some more postcards.i know he needs someone right now.i want to be there for him more than i have been.it just hurts.thinking of him there.where he shouldn't be.i pulled out my pen and the postcards.and didn't know what to say.what do you say to a brother who is sitting in a dark place.i can't even imagine what he must think and feel day to day.how could i possibly send him anything uplifting?or how do you tell a loved one who has been told there are weeks to months left to live that things are okay?what do you say in those moments that could be final?it all can get so heavy.i have no words.but i looked to the Bible.every time i have written my brother, i searched for words from God.His words actually do help.they are backed by a promise.by promises that have been proven over and over again.earth sucks.there is no getting around that.this life is but a vapor.i am but a vapor.but there is a God who loves me, who sacrificed everything for me.and He doesn't cause bad things to happen to me.or to anyone.He loves us.and He can speak to us daily.if we listen.somehow things can turn around.i believe they will.and bad things may happen.it's life.but there is hope.i sent my brother some verses.but they spoke to me.they can speak to every person.because we all need hope.let us look to God and His promises for it.

There is surely a future hope for you,
    and your hope will not be cut off.
Proverbs 23:18

<3_sarah_noelle

Reinforcement.

I am an intern.i expected to be treated like one.however, i haven't.it's been amazing.i love being in sarasota.the feeling i have every morning is so great.knowing this is what i am supposed to do.i am getting used to something new.this thing called positive reinforcement.i don't even need it.didn't expect it.but where my professors or previous bosses have made me feel like i wasn't cutting it, i am feeling like i am doing well.i am supported, and encouraged.and criticized in a wonderfully respectful manner.i don't feel like i deserve it.but i am so grateful for the experience.i truly have the perfect work environment.i am able to learn and grow, and given opportunities to work independently.i see why reinforcement works for the kiddos.the boost makes you want to do more and to be better.even if you don't expect or necessarily need the reinforcement.it's nice.i think this may be God's way of helping me build my confidence in this area.and that will make me a more effective person.so i'll take it!

Hebrews 10:35-36

³⁵ So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

³⁶ You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.


<3_sarah_noelle

Die-it

9 days ago i began a diet.the daniel fast.you can basically only eat plant-based foods and can only drink water.i knew it would be challenging.i had no idea that my body would writhe in pain due to some kind of detox.however, once i made it through a few days of feeling miserable, i began to feel so much better.i have had stomach/intestinal issues for most of my life.on this diet, i have had no issues.therefore, the problem was the food.the beverages.all of the unhealthy addictions and decisions.i watched forks over knives earlier this year and cried and was so touched.seeing people be healed of diseases because of changing their diets.that hit me hard.there is so much in the Bible that talks about healthy eating because our bodies are temples.think about that.a temple.a holy place, where God dwells.and i have spent years trashing that temple.why?because it's easy.it feels good.i might have some stomach aches, but never feel any intense, automatic punishment.i have not done a word study on the word "diet," but just looking at it makes me think a clever person gave it such a name.to have discipline over what goes into your body requires one to die to his or her self.dieting can reflect a spiritual deficit or it can represent strength (in my opinion).putting junk into the body is a form of self-harm, if you really think about it.we judge people for smoking and drinking, then turn and eat our bowls of ice cream night after night.while this fast has been frustrating due to its strictness and blatant inconvenience, i am so glad i decided to do it.i learned that with Christ, i can have power over food and temptation.i do not need the amounts of sugar or caffeine i have continuously consumed.i thought it made me feel better.but i have felt so good about myself because what i eat doesn't make me feel sick or guilty.it makes me feel good.okay, i'm done.just think about it, friends.i am preaching to myself here.let us stop hurting ourselves and practice discipline so we can be healthy and happy.this will allow us to please God and to be used by Him in new ways. :)

You realize, don't you, that you are the temple of God, and God Himself is present in you?...God's temple is scared-and you, remember, are the temple. -1 Corinthians 3:16-17
So whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. -1 Corinthians 10:31
No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I will not be disqualified for the prize. -1 Corinthians 9:27

<3_sarah_noelle

Caterpillar

I have begun my time as an intern.i have experienced so many emotions.but i feel as though i am finally getting into the swing of things.the greatest thing of all, though, is that i finally feel this peace and joy that i know i am doing the right thing.i am in the right place.that confirmation is so great.so great, that it overwhelms and takes away the fear, the nervousness, the doubts.all of the negativity is muffled because i know that God has me here.doing this.for a reason.how many times do i need to be reminded of his care, his provision?i know that i have had great experiences and have been complimented and trusted because of Him.this is what i am called to do.right now, i am working on developing my skills, soaking in so many lessons.i am that baby caterpillar...yes, probably a very hungry one at that.one day, i will transform.i will reveal my wings in a place where God has picked out just for me.i look back at my life and see His hand placing me, moving me.and i am so blessed.i want to reflect on my experiences because i am seriously loving life, and am reminded daily that i can and will love working in this field.