To 2016

Adventures Await

2015 is basically over. It has been the most meaningful year of my life so far. I've become a mother. Wow. I've always known I wanted to have children. Upon meeting Adalae, I thought, Yes, this is it. This is what I was created to do. I felt an overwhelming amount of love and fear. This greatest blessing came with the greatest amount of responsibility. As I have posted Adalae's adventures, I've had many sweet people reach out to me to ask about my life and apparent changes. I wrestled with knowing what to do and how to respond. Initially I felt some embarrassment and confusion and stayed off of social media for several weeks as I wrestled with it all. Then I realized that despite circumstances, God had blessed me with a beautiful baby girl and I wanted all of my loved ones to see her. I wanted everyone to see the love between us. I wanted friends to experience the joy she brings me because  I know she brings that joy to others. Over the past couple of years, I have gained and I have lost. I have been overwhelmed with joy and love at times and at other times overwhelmed with sadness. I've tried to embrace the spectrum of emotions and let myself feel them without allowing any feeling or circumstance to take over. Overall, I've been doing well. Because my God is good and He cares for me. He loves me even more than I love my sweet Adalae. Wow! I have a hope in Him. When people have let me down and when I fall short, God is there to be all I need and more. For those that don't know, I have been a single mother from the time I became a mother. But I'm not alone. My friends and family have supported us and loved us in ways that have left me amazed. I don't know where I would be without my precious family. They're too good to me. And friends, you've filled my heart with love and affirmation when I needed it the most. Here's to 2016. Trusting that the best is yet to come! God bless you!

Whoa.

It has been too long! A lot has happened, as is such when time passes. I am now with child. It has been a roller coaster of a year for me. My life has not gone as expected or planned and I have faced heartache like I never knew before. I feel different. I finally feel like I have become a woman. My own person. I feel as if God has been working on me and working with me. Life has tried to chip away at who I am and who I want to be but I keep pressing on. I have a deeper desire to be a better person now that I know I will be impacting a child in a huge way. I want to be a woman my daughter is proud of. I want to make decisions that she would respect one day when she can understand. I am learning all over again to take it day by day. Paul's advice has resonated with me for so many years. But now it is how I am able to thrive. I am learning to trust God for each day, and to be thankful for His daily provision. Every day is full of blessings, full of opportunities. We are the ones who miss them. I want to be intentional in seeing the goodness that each day brings. God is speaking. He is moving and working. Do we forget that? Ignore it? Become too busy to realize it?

Be intentional.